I Did It!

I am the new Assistant Manager! I have only been with Enterprise 9 months and this is my third promotion. I celebrated way too hard last night and I am paying for it today. It's after 5:00 and I have not accomplished shit. It was actually very tough to hear the decision. Cory and I have been every step of the way together and naturally we both interviewed for this job. Another girl from a different branch interviewed as well. I was so nervous because they took me in first. They messed with me a lot before they got down to their decision. I thought I was going to sweat to death before they got around to it. They already waited 2 days to tell us after the interviews, you would think they could just cut down to the chase. It was very hard to see Cory come out of that room. I almost cried because I like him so much, but it had to happen to one of us. Everyone is afraid that we are going to have problems, but I am confident that we will be fine. Obviously it was an awkward situation so we talked about it before the interviews. He also called me after work last night, which made me feel so much better. I am still kind of in disbelief that I got this job. It could have been anyone, but they picked me! Woo hoo for me!

Gym Update...

Well, it's been about three weeks since Cara and I have joined the gym. I have actually been doing very well. I have been at least four times a week sometimes even up to eight times. Cara, on the other hand, is MIA. She did good the first week, but it all went downhill due to the damn Miami Heat making it to the finals. She is faithful to the Heat for some reason and I can't figure it out. She promised after it was over that she would come back. Well, it's over and she is still missing! I got a promise from her to come back on Monday. I am going to hold you to it even if I have to come wake your ass up from a nap.

OK, enough about Cara. Let's talk about me. I have come to the realization that I love to get up at 5:00 and go to the gym before I go to work. I have also made some new friends that are 70+. They are the only people that go to the gym that early and I think it's mainly because they are senile. I even managed to go this morning after drinking last night. Let me tell you, it was not my idea of fun. Once I got there I was glad that I went, but that soon changed. I thought it would be a good idea for to join in on the aerobics. Half way through I thought I was going to die, actually die, right there on that damn step thing. I also realized another thing. How in the hell did I dance in high school? I have lost any bit of coordination I used to have. I felt like Phoebe when she runs. Oh well, I had a good time and that's all that matters. Anyway, I made it through the hour long class and still did 20 minutes on the treadmill. I don't want to go all Richard Simmons on everyone, but I really do feel so much better when I start my day out at the gym.

Cara also sent an e-mail to me at work today that made me laugh. It almost sounds like she's the damn doctor. Here it is:


Love this DOCTOR!!!! HEALTH QUESTION & ANSWER SESSION !

Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life; is this true?
A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it... don't waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer?Take a nap.

Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain?Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.

Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine,that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottomsup!

Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio? A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one.If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc

Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain...Good!

Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!! ... Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?

Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.

Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: Are you crazy? HELLO Cocoa beans! Another vegetable!!! It's the best feel-good food around!

Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.

Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape!

Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets. And remember: "Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Cabernet Sauvignon in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOOHOO, What a Ride"

Thanks, Cara, for the e-mail. It cracked me up! See you at the gym!

I Have Bugs!!!

OK, not really, but today I started to wonder. Well, it actually started yesterday when I found a creepy looking bug in my bed! As if I didn't lose enough sleep over that one, I had a couple of encounters today. Excuse me while I itch....

This morning at work I went to tell our car preps something. About 15 minutes later I was inside and Mike told me that I had a moth on my back. He said it was on my ass before, but he didn't say anything. He finally did 15 minutes later as it was crawling up my back! Ewwww!!!! A couple of hours later I was talking to Mike and he came at my face with the vacuum. I had a spider on my boob, shoulder area and he didn't want to freak me out. I don't know which one freaked me out more at the time, but it is definitely the spider now. He said that it was huge! If you ask me the bugs seem a little perverted. One on my ass, one on my boob...Anyway, I could have blamed it on Mike, but he definitely was not in my bed so I guess I will have to say that I HAVE BUGS!!! I have been itching all day and I probably will for the rest of my life after this. I can barely sit still now! Hopefully I won't scratch all of my hair off like Peanut. Although, that may be cute if we look alike...

The Film Geeks Meet Jana Land

Jana Land was finally united with The Film Geeks last night (www.thefilmgeek.blogspot.com). I'm not even sure how I started reading this blog, but I think Cara told me about it. Anywho, The Film Geek is Cara's old boss and Mrs. Film Geek is his wife. We have left comments on each other's blogs, but they were both a mystery. I do remember seeing a picture of Mrs. Film Geek with Matthew McConaughey, but Mr. Film Geek does not like to reveal his identity. That is why I am going to take it as my duty to reveal this mystery we call "The Film Geek". This past week, Mrs. Film Geek celebrated her 40th birthday. They went to dinner and Cara talked them into coming to Hank's. Cara was in the parking lot getting a bag of office supplies (see The Film Geek's blog for more info) when I arrived at Hank's. She said, "Guess who just got here!" I said, "The Film Geek" as I jumped up and down. I am so glad that I finally got to meet The Film Geeks, especially Mrs. She is so much fun! Also, they are going to be at the beach the same week as me. I'm not sure if Mr. Film Geek will approve of us hanging out after he finally met Jana Land "Live", but hopefully he will. He obviously didn't have as much fun as us, but that's because he was sober. He actually left her there at one point. We asked her how she was getting home and she just looked at us and said, "I don't know!" as she laughed hysterically. When he left we decided to pull out the bad of office supplies and have a little fun. We had name tags, pencils, pens, rubberbands and little clips (see pictures below). We got busted in the middle of our photo shoot because he came back to get her. Oh well, it was all out of good fun. Film Geek, I know you have nothing but good intentions. You just have to face it, you f'ed up! It's ok because I think you made up by bringing her to Hank's. We also had a little more fun with some 80's and 90's music. Mrs. Film Geek took it upon her self to do the "Bye, bye, bye" dance. She was actually pretty good. I'm pretty sure she had a great time and I know I did. You guys have to come out more often!

Mrs. Film Geek showing us her moves

Cara and Mrs. Film Geek breaking it down

Cara and Mrs. Film Geek

Me and Mrs. Film Geek

Me and Rea, before I knew about her pencil fetish (see below)

Office supplies rock, but they aren't that romantic

Rea said I look like a pencil porn star in this pic. I don't know what kind of porn you are watching Rea, but I think you may need some help!

Can't get enough of the office supplies

I got another name tag that I didn't know about

Yes, our name tags say Jana Land and Cara Land

I got home a little later than I wanted to and I had to work this morning. The cops were blocking the road that I always take home so I had to take a little "detour". Someone told me today that a car drove into the creek. Once I got home we had a conference call with me, Cara, Kelly and Mrs. Film Geek. Mrs. Film Geek was so drunk that I couldn't understand a word she was saying. Mr. Film Geek finally took the phone away from her and hung up. Happy Birthday!

Well, there you have it, another exciting evening in the life of Jana Land. It was great to meet The Film Geeks and I hope that they come out more often. I hope you don't take offense to anything I say Mr. Film Geek. If you do, we may not be able to be friends anymore. Just kidding. See you at the beach!

Oh yeah, a little disclaimer:

Someone who will remain nameless called me and asked if I left him a dirty message. I swear that I didn't that time and I do not know who did, but I made sure that one was made later. I took Rea outside with me because I don't think I even know how to leave a dirty message. Some girl outside looked like she would do a great job so I asked her to do me a favor. So if you are reading this, it wasn't me. It was pretty funny though!

I Love Jello!!!

OK, so I am sorry this update has been so delayed. Sometimes this website pisses me off so much. This is the second night I haven't gone to the gym because I have been trying to update this damn thing.
We celebrated Rea's Birthday/New House this past weekend. We all had a great time. Everyone will be able to tell by the pictures that we had a great time. We started out at Rea's house, but made our way to Hank's by the end of the night. I have to toot my own horn a little bit and say that the Jello shots I made were great. Yeah, they made my tounge a little numb, but for a first timer I have to say A+. I don't really have any "Jana Land" stories to tell, but that's because I don't really remember (no, I didn't drive home). Peanut and I packed our bags (and her cage) and just stayed at Rea's that night. I finally made it home at 2:30 the next day if that is an inidcation of how drunk we all were. Well, I will just let the pictures tell you about the night.

The girls: Rea, Me, Holly and Krissy

Me and Krissy doing Jello shots

Me and Holly doing Jello shots...I Love Shots!

The boys plus a Rea: Dustin, Jerry, Rea, Bryan and Pancake


The boys peeing outside (yes, Rea has a bathroom)

Rea and the banner Jocelyn made for her

Krissy got some new boobies!

Cara had some fun with the blowers!

Chris also had some fun with the blowers...Where's Becky?

Workout buddies who did not make it to the gym on Sunday

Cory even made it out

Drunk Girl and Patrick...Is Holly trying to punch me or James?

There you have it. Sorry the entry was so short and boring, but the pictures are fun. I don't want to press my luch with this website and I am really tired. Hopefully it works so I can get back in the gym after work.

It Wasn't Me!

Somebody fell in the river last night at Holderby's Landing and drowned. I just want to let everyone know that it wasn't me. A few people worried that it may be me or my friends. I am happy to say that we were not at that bar last night. I'm not sure who it was or what happened, but rest assured I am alive and kicking today. Cara is also alive and kicking...barely! I have actually had a very productive day so far. By noon I had already gone to the liqour store, tanning bed, gym, dollar store, Kroger and I even stopped in at work. I have also made about a hundred Jello shots and some pasta salad for the party tonight. Oh yeah, I also did two loads of laundry and loaded the dishwasher. Wow, typing all of that made me tired. I am going to take a nap now!
Happy Birthday, Rea! I can't wait until tonight! Mmmm...Jello for dinner sounds like a great idea!

Warning: Very Random Information Ahead!

OK, this is by far going to be my most random entry yet. I'm bored and when I'm bored, my mind wanders. I am bored because I chose to stay in this weekend. Of course I went out on Friday, but maybe I should have stayed home. My boss and his girlfriend, Lori were out. Yeah, they're fun to hang out with, but I should not be allowed to talk to my boss about work when I've been drinking. I probably decreased my chances of getting the Assistant Manager position by about half. I don't know what all was said, but Cara said I looked at her at one point and said, "I don't think I am gong to get the position." I do remember telling him if I don't get it I am going to be pissed. That probably wasn't the best thing to say to the guy who makes the decision. I also brought a few things that have been bothering me at the office lately. Damn, I should not be allowed to talk when I've been drinking! We decided to quit talking about work. We played some darts and then headed over to Sharkey's to sing. We sang two songs and I'm sure it was horrible. I have been sick so I sound like a man.

Rea, Lori and me at Sharkey's

Oh yeah, thanks Terra for getting all of us sick. Everytime time you come in town I get sick. You damn kindergarten teaching carrier!
Last night was wild and crazy...I went to the grocery store! I have used this time to catch up on a few things around my apartment and most importantly, some sleep. I did the usual catching up like laundry, dishes and cleaning, but I also took on a new chore. I cleaned my patio! It wasn't bad, but my landlord stopped me the other day and asked me to clean it up. At first I asked him if he was serious because it was fine. He said that I needed to sweep up the leaves. My bad, I didn't know we weren't allowed to have leaves on our OUTDOOR patios. It's not like they were big piles that I could jump in. There was maybe half of a garbage bag full. Anyway, I'm glad that he brought this to my attention because I think that I will spend more time out there. I swept the leaves, cleaned the chairs and got rid of a plant that had died about five years ago. Yes, I have kept that plant for almost six years now. It was one from my grandfather's funeral and I couldn't put myself up to throwing it away. I kept the pot so I wasn't too sad about it. Cleaning the patio brought on a new project. I wanted to get some candles, lights and some more fun stuff for my patio. I love to just sit outside and drink some beer in the summertime. I figure if I put some effort into this then I will use it. So I headed to Dollar General to see what I could find. Of course, I didn't find crap so I went to Big Lots. I found a lot of fun stuff there like the torches in the picture below. I love them!

I thought that would be the end of my extravaganza and I could get back home. Nope, Rea called. Her and Krissy were on the way to Grandview Outlet so I met them there. I found some random shit there, but nothing for the patio. OK, so the shopping is done. Nope, Rea wanted to go find a couch. So we went to Value City Furniture. Krissy and I both said we wouldn't be able to find anything there because we were on a bargain shopping mission. Well, we were wrong. We walked in the "Scratch and Dent" room and found another bargain! We were both immediately drawn to the same table. Good news is that they only had two left so I didn't have to kick her ass for it. It was a $200 table that had been marked down to $18. Sure it doesn't have a top, but even better. I got a bargain and a new project!!! I love having projects as long as I finish them. So that was finally the end of the bargain shopping. Meanwhile, I still hadn't taken a shower yet because I was only running to Dollar General.
Oh yeah, I was also on a mission to get some new blinds. My mean watchdog has ruined them because everytime she hears a noise, she jumps up and breaks another piece off. I found some cool blinds, but I can't install the damn things. One set, for my bedroom, looked like they could fit right in the old slot. Well, they did, but the length is about 1/2 cm off and it just doesn't fit. The package says Universal. Shouldn't that mean universal as in, "fit in the old slots"? The other set is my favorite, but I need a drill. OK, I do have 2-3 toolboxes here, but I do not own a drill. I guess I'll have to call dad to the rescue on this one. Hell, I can't even find a hammer and I know I have about five laying around. I guess I'll have to wait on the blinds, but I want it done now and I want to do it myself. To sum up the day, I spent about $100 on stuff I don't need/can't install. The stuff I could do myself had to wait because it started raining and it was all for the patio. After I get the table complete, which I have no idea what I am going to do with that, I want to get a firebowl. I think they are neat! About the table, if anyone has any ideas or tools, let me know. I'm not that good with construction, but I did build a gate once for my old deck.
Rea finally bought a house. She closed on it last week. I finally saw the inside and it is cute. She is going to have a birthday party next Saturday at her new house! The best part is that she is only 6 minutes from Hank's! Good purchase, Rea! This is Rea in her new living room. The Chik-Fil-A cup is a great decoration.

OK, if that first portion wasn't random enough for you, just wait! Here it goes:

-Last night at Kroger, I found treats for Peanut that are shaped like Peanuts. How cute is that? I laughed a little bit to myself when I saw them. They even taste like peanut butter!



-My little brother turned 22 today. Happy Birthday, Brandon! I would have posted a separate entry for you, but I have a few reasons why:

1. You called Terra on my birthday to see if it was my birthday. Once you found out it was, you still didn't call me!
2. I tried to call you already, but you did not answer.
3. I don't have that many pictures of you.
4. You are probably already drunk so you won't care.

-I found the switch for my garbage disposal for the first time about two weeks ago. Yes, I have lived here since September!

-I am going to stop planning on watching TV. Thursday was a 2 hour marathon of The Office. I was very excited and the damn satellite went out. Also, about 3 weeks ago just local channels went out when I wanted to watch Desperate Housewives. Tonight, the basketball game is on so I won't be able to watch Desperate Housewives again!

-Oh, the TV just went out again. When it came back on, Dateline NBC has an interview with a guy who looked just like my dad about 10 years ago! Creepy!

OK, that's all I have for now. I am going to make some Shake n Bake pickles!

I'm Going To Myrtle Beach!

Pack the flip flops and the shorts. Yeah! I am finally going to take a much needed vacation. I never realized how much it would suck to have a real job and not be able to take a week off whenever I wanted to (i.e. Applebee's). I already have July 4th off so it works out perfect for me to take the 3rd and 5th off as well. Other good news is that I thouget I only had two paid days off until September, but I actually have three! I was very excited to hear that. As of right now I am only going to use two of them and save the other for a rainy day. I plan to leave either Friday the 30th after work or Saturday the 1st super early in the morning and come back on Wednesday the 5th. Who knows, I may get down there and not want to come back. Eeverybody get the moving trucks ready! Anyone up for moving the black couch? Just kidding, I think the couch will have to retire for the next move. I don't know who is going with me yet. So far, it's just me. We went to Myrtle Beach two years ago for July 4th and it was a great time! I'm sure this year will be too! I am so excited because I need to get out of here and away from work more than ever. Hopefully, I'll come back and not want to blow up the office anymore.

Watch Out, Here We Come!

That's right folks, we finally joined the gym! We are ready to take on the world! OK, maybe not, but maybe just Barboursville. Those skinny bitches will have nothing on us soon. We joined Absolute Fitness on Wednesday. So far, I have made it every day. Cara made it yesterday, but she has a pre-commitment to the Miami Heat games so I guess we'll excuse her this time. I even got up at 5:00 this morning and worked out before I went to work. I felt good until lunch, but by then I needed a nap! I don't plan on Cara ever making it that early. She can't even make it to work until lunchtime. We have decided that we need to work on everything. We were walking through looking at all the weight machines. They have each area highlighted as to which body part it helps. We soon realized that we said, "Oh, I need this one too" to every machine. I was doing so good at the beginning of the year, but then I got lazy again. This time, I am serious and nobody is stopping me. I am so glad that Cara has joined because it gives me motivation to go. I hated working out by myself. Another big source of my motivation is Terra. I thought that we were cursed by our genes, but she has done so well, so I know I can do it. I'm sure I will have many entertaining stories to tell about "The Adventures of Jana and Cara at the Gym." That's all I have for now, but I will keep everyone posted on our progress.