My Version Of The Pet Profiles

I have taken it upon myself to do a profile of my pets. I have two pets, Peanut the dog and Bella the cat. I have had Bella for three years and Peanut for almost two.

First Pet: Peanut

Where I Got Her: A patient from my former job found her in a box at a rest area. I didn't even see her and I said, "I'll take her!" The lady told me she was an Eskimo Husky...ha ha, not even close!


How I Named Her: I actually went out of town the day after I got her and left her with my roommates. I didn't have a name for her when I left. I asked Jenny when I got home what she had been calling her and she said, "Peanut." I liked it and it became her name.

Special Talents: None

Best Physical Feature: Her eyes...they are so pretty!

If She Could Talk She Would Say: "Shut up, Mom!"








Second Pet: Bella

Where I Got Her: Erik's mom had a cat who had a litter. At the time I couldn't have a dog so I got the next best thing.

How I Named Her: Our Belarussian child was with me on her last night in the United States when I got her. We used to call her our little Belaruga. I decided since it was her last night here that I would name that cat after her.

Special Talents: Being an extreme bitch and tormenting the hell out of Peanut from high places.

Best Physical Feature: She has a nice ass

If She Could Talk She Would Say: "Why the hell did you bring that stupid dog home?






OK, so that's not as entertaining as Phil's profiles, but it will have to do. He made a promise to profile everyone's pets because he failed on the ski tripper profiles. It doesn't look like he is going to live up to this promise either.

I am really writing because I took Peanut to the vet today. She has been chewing all of her hair off. I used to think it was a nervous condition, but recently I realized that it had to be more. I wasn't sure what the vet was going to tell me. I was shocked when he told me the real cause...she has fleas! I was shocked as ever. I have never seen one on her and she stays inside all the time. I wish I would have known that because I could have saved $150 and gone to the store instead. I also had to get medicine for Bella. Oh well, I hope this works and her hair grows back because she is not looking too pretty these days. She has also gained 11 pounds since the last time I took her to the vet. What a fat ass! She is up to a whopping 52 lbs. Wow!

The vet put Peanut's Fronline on her and I thought, Oh no big deal. When I got home I had to put it on Bella. I had her pinned down as I was trying to open the damn container. That was the biggest challenge. It actually went better than I thought. Bella has actually been following me around all night. Maybe she liked it!

It's a good thing I love my pets or the shelter would have had two more residents today!

P.S. We saw a Husky at the vet today and Peanut told me that she really misses Dixie and she wants her to come visit soon. (Hint, hint, Amber...)

I'm So Bored!!!

Well, it's another Sunday and I am bored out of my mind. This weekend was the same as always...just another weekend. I did branch out last night and go to a bar that I usually don't go to. I ended up singing a lot of karaoke. I sang everything from Gold Digger to some rock songs I don't know to some country songs that I should have never attempted. They were begging for people to sing so of course that was bad news. Give me a little alcohol and a microphone and it can get very ugly. I don't really have much else to say so I am just going to post a few pictures from this weekend.

This was actually last weekend at The Union for Beth Anne's birthday. What a lovely group!

We don't know who this guy is, but we thought it would be funny to take pictures with his ass!

I was so excited to see Patrick because I hadn't seen him in over a month. It seemed like eternity! I am just sad that I missed him singing and dancing.

Me and Beth Anne. We kicked the boys asses last night in darts. Four for Four...Go Team Ovaries!!!

Awww...isn't she lovely?

I'm Going To Jail...

WANTED:
Jana Banker

Description: Usually Wears a Smile
CAUTION: Heavily Armed With Kindness…This Could Be Contagious!
PRIOR CONVICTION: Thoughtfulness and Generosity

Please Help Me!!! I have been arrested and will be put in jail for the Muscular Dystrophy Association (MDA) Lock-up. Don’t even bother asking what crime I have committed – it’s not really that important. I just have to raise my bail of $3200.00 before the Lock-Up and they will go easy on me, but I need your financial assistance to post my bond. Please lend your support during the:

Ramada Limited on Hal Greer Lock Up

Your 100% tax-deductible donation will help MDA continue research into the cause and the possible cure of the 43 neuromuscular diseases they cover. Your support of the MDA Lock-Up will also help MDA provide wheelchairs, clinic visits and summer camp for the families served by the Association in our local area.

That was the corny poster they sent me, but seriously I need your help. They are expecting me to raise $3200 by August 23rd. Rea is also going to jail with me so I need to beat her bail! Anything will help, even if it is just $5.00. I can take cash, check or credit cards. I am not going to post my address because there's a lot of creeps out there. If you want to mail me a donation, let me know and I will give you my address. All checks can be be made out to MDA. Also, let me know if you have any questions. Here's a link to my MDA website:

https://www.mdaevent.org/ParticipantInfo.aspx?j=9d34bd43-b477-4c32-9123-afbec32b1def

Thanks in advance!!!

So You Had A Bad Day...

I thought yesterday was a bad day at work until I got to work today. My boss wrote me up! OK, so maybe it's not a good idea that I have only been his assistant manager for three weeks and I have already been written up, but maybe I'm not that surprised it hasn't happened earlier. My boss is never wrong! It may also not be in my favor to talk to him when we are out at a bar. A couple of months back I saw him and I went off about how pissed I would be if he didn't pick me for the position. Or maybe it didn't help when I saw him out last Friday night and I told him, "I quit." Maybe I have brought some of this upon myself, but I did not bring this one on. I was simply listening to the assistant manager at another branch and I got wrote up for it. I know he's not my boss, but I didn't want to go behind his back and listen to my boss. Yeah, my boss might be right on this one, but I am pissed. Those of you who know me, know that I do not keep my mouth shut when I feel I'm right. It's just who I am, who I've always been and who I will always be. I don't think I should back down and that has also caused some drama in the office. Oh yeah, apparently I have influenced the new employees to act this way too. Yeah right! I know I am awesome, but people do not want to be like me that much. I just can't believe that I got wrote up. I have never been written up in my life! Of course, my boss turned this into a much bigger issue than it was and he ended up on his whole, I don't want this to be a debate and maybe this isn't going to work...blah...blah...blah...bullshit. That got me thinking about other shit and he made me cry again. It makes me wonder, is this really worth it. Of course it is because I do like my job and I do like working for Enterprise, but I don't feel like I should have to put up with his bullshit just because he is the boss and he has been doing this a lot longer than I have. OK, I am done venting now. I just had to get a little bit out before I go to bed. Tomorrow will be a better day : )

A Realization...

OK, so I either need to go to the grocery store or I am still thinking about the Chinese house because I have found many ways to make a meal out of boil-in-a-bag rice...

So I probably need to go to the grocery store, but I refuse to until all of the food I already have is eaten. I also refuse to go to the grocery store for these reasons:

- I live by myself so everything goes to waste.
- I can't afford to because I spent all of my money at the beach.
- It forces me to become creative when cooking, which is something I'm not that great at.
- I just cleaned out my fridge and found pasta salad from Rea's birthday (June 10th)
Yuck!
- I usually go when I am hungry with a hangover and buy shit that I will never eat.
- I don't have time!!!

OK, enough with that.

My mom is always complaining about my dog. She stinks, she's too big, she licks too much, blah, blah, blah... So, my dad said that he tried to give Peanut a bath while he was babysitting her. He had her in the yard and didn't think it would be that tough. As soon as he pulled out the hose he said, "She took off like a ghost!" She ran around to the back door and my mom said she almost knocked it down. So I finally gave Peanut a bath tonight and she was not a big fan. I usually do it outside with the hose, but I thought I could give the bathtub a try. Boy, what a mistake! I should have taken the struggle to get her into the tub as a sign, but she needed a bath so bad. That actual process wasn't as bad, it was just getting her fatass in the tub. Afterwards she ran around like a crazyass and was getting all of my furniture wet so I got the idea to blowdry her. Also, not a good idea. I chased her around my room with the hairdryer until she ran into my closet. She hid in there for quite awhile, but we survived and she smells so good!!!

She probably feels like she is in prison compared to last week. My dad cooked her breakfast every morning, she had other dogs to play with and she had plenty of room to run around. Here, at prison (home), she gets dry food, the cat hates her and she never gets to run more than the length of her leash. Oh yeah and let's not forget that horrible bath. Despite all of this horrible treatment, she is one spoiled rotten dog and she's all mine!

I Am So Glad To Be Home!

I am finally home from vacation and I have to say that I am very happy that it's over. I took a much needed vacation last week, but it turned into a horrible time. Actually it wasn't that bad, but I have had better times. I went to see my sister in North Myrtle Beach. My brother and his friends got a house that ended up being a couple of blocks from my sister and it wasn't even planned. Their house was so funny! It had an Asian theme complete with a fountain in the middle of the house (see pictures below).

We got there Saturday around noon and started drinking shortly after. We all went down to the pool and we were having a blast. Terra and I went to the store and got some stuff to cookout. Around 10:00 we left the pool and I already wanted to go to bed. My brother called and Mark and Pork Chop wanted to go to the beach so we packed up and went over to the Chinese house. I drank some Red Bull and for my secondwind. We went down to the beach and I thought it would be a good idea to jump in the ocean with my clothes on even though I had a bathing suit on underneath. I also thought that I was diving like a champion, but it was a little more like belly flops into the sand. Anyway, we had a great time! We went back to my brother's house and had arm wrestling contests. We started doing shots and things were getting crazy. People started dropping like flies so that was even more fun to mess with them. Leeann and I got the bright idea to hide from Dustin, Brandon and Erik. We hid in Mark and Pork Chop's closet to see how long it would take them to notice we were gone. Much to our surprise they didn't even care. They were outside talking and we heard someone come in. I said, "Shhhh...they're coming." That's the last thing I remember. We fell asleep in the closet on top of Mark and Pork Chop's stuff. I woke up to Leeann saying, "Get up, get up, get up, your brother and Erik are fighting!" At first I thought my brother probably started it so I was yelling at him. Then I saw his face and realized that Erik obviously started it. Erik had punched my brother in the eye and nose a couple of times and chipped his tooth. His eye and nose were bleeding out of control. At first my brother just came in the house to see what happened. Once he looked in the mirror, it set in and he was pissed! So he got a knife and tried to go after Erik. That's when I flipped out and couldn't breathe. Apparently Erik and Brandon were talking about life for a long time. Erik got mad at my brother and threw a chair. Then he went inside and threw a beer bottle as he was walking inside. My brother said the next thing he knew was Erik had knocked him on the ground and kept punching him. This is so out of character for Erik. He has been dating my sister for seven years and he is the most laid back guy you will ever meet. I don't know if I've ever heard him raise his voice and that takes a lot of patience when you're with my sister.

I still can't believe that this has happened. It ruined the entire week for everyone. Brandon's eye did not open for days. His nose was bleeding on and off forever. I have to say with the chipped tooth he was very pretty! It sucks so much that this happened. Erik told Terra that he knows he did it, but he doesn't know why. He's never been in a fight before and I can't understand why he would hit my brother of all people. We were all in shock for a couple of days. I had such a hard time having fun and this was my only vacation. After a couple of days I decided to say screw it and try to have a good time. I did have a good time with everyone, but this whole situation sucked. Dustin's girlfriend, Leeann, was really cool. I usually don't like girls, especially when they are younger than me, but she was awesome. Mark and Pork Chop (they're brothers) were also a lot of fun. I never really spent that much time with them before, but they were great. Of course, Dustin was a lot of fun too, but he's old school. Overall I had a good time, but I wish there was something I could do to take back that first night.

I probably would have had more fun if the guys would have let me and Terra know when they were doing the things I had been talking about all week. For example, I talked about putt putt for days and they went without me. They invited me to go ride go carts, but when they actually went they never called. We did go bowling together, but I'm sure we were only invited because we were over at their house when they wanted to go.

When Mexicans make pyramids, I have to take a picture!

This is the outside view of the "Chinese house". It took Mark two hours and he finally said, "I think this house has a Chinese theme!"

Mark and Pork Chop found this American flag on the road and hung it up. It was really funny at the time.

This was the middle of the house. The bedrooms were on each side on this. That rope saved many people from falling in the fountain.

Mark injured his knees and elbows in the arm wrestling contest!

Erik and Brandon before the incident. I wish they could have fought this way instead.

Terra and I also got in on the action as well. I kicked her ass when we did it Indian style, but not so much the other way.

Pork Chop was so burnt he had to go on the beach in full armour.

Terra had to pee, but she won't get in the ocean. Leeann agreed to go out and sit with her while she peed. What a true friend. I didn't go because I had to get a picture of her while she was peeing.

Leeann, Terra and Me

The fabulous Jello shots made an appearance at the beach. I Love Jello!

Pirate Banker goes Chinese

Dusty bonging beer

Leeann bonging beer

Pork Chop bonging beer

Mark bonging beer...OK, I know that there are a lot of beer bonging pictures, but it was the last night and I realized I hadn't taken very many. Notice, I did not bong the beer! I was probably too busy doing Jello shots.

Leeann and Me

Leeann and Dusty...aren't they cute? I mean ghetto!

Leeann and Brandon...this was four days after the punch. Isn't he pretty?

Pork Chop, Me, Mark and Terra after bowling

We were going to get our pictures done on the beach for Christmas presents. Needless to say it didn't happen because of the incident so this is as close as we are going to get.

So there you have it, that was my vacation. Considering what happened, I did have a good time, but I am still mad. I am glad to be home and maybe next time won't be so bad.