A Whole Lot of Nothing

Nothing exciting has happened this week. Matthew McConaughey left yesterday. We went to the Green and White game and he was there. I am a little disappointed because I did not get to see him. I thought for sure we would be married by the end of his trip. Oh well, maybe next time. In other news, work was crazy because we didn't have any cars Besides that it was a pretty mellow week. I only went out one night during the week and that was just to happy hour at Tascali's. This may be a first, but I really don't have any interesting "Jana Land" stories. I think I will take this opportunity to share a few random e-mail I have received lately. The first is one from my dad titled "The Rules". Many females would be offended by this one, but I thought it was funny. Here it is:


The Guys' Rules At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down. Finally, the guys' side of the story. (I must admit, it's pretty good.) We always hear "the rules"From the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules!
Please note.. These are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

1. Men are NOT mind readers.
1. Learn to work the toilet seat.You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.We need it up, you need it down.You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.Let it be.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport.And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want.Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work!Strong hints do not work!Obvious hints do not work!Just say it!
1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.
1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
1. You can either ask us to do somethingOr tell us how you want it done. Not both.If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched.We do that.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...Really.
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, golf or camping.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
1. Thank you for reading this.Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

This next one if from Cara. She sent it to me awhile ago and suggested I use them in the blog.


Here is a collection of famous insults, classy and thought-provoking (if not hate provoking). Enjoy:
"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire." - Winston Churchill
"A modest little person, with much to be modest about." - Winston Churchill
"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure." - Clarence Darrow
"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary." - William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)
"Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big words?" - Ernest Hemingway (about William Faulkner)
"Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it." - Moses Hadas "He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know." - Abraham Lincoln "I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it." - Groucho Marx
"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it." - Mark Twain
"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends." - Oscar Wilde
"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play, bring a friend... if you have one." - George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill
"Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second... if thereis one." - Winston Churchill, in reply

I've also become a MySpace junkie, which contributes to slack in the blog entries. I found few funny pics on there today so I thought I would share those as well. The last one is a picture that Cara (I think) sent me awhile back and I ran into it as I was uploading the others. Enjoy!

Again, I apologize for the lack of "Jana Land" stories. For once, my life was pretty lame this week. I am sure that things will change soon. I am having my wisdom teeth removed on Friday. I am sure that will lead to some interesting stories. I am getting pretty nervous. I haven't passed out since the X-Rays, but I sometimes feel like I am going to when I think about Friday. Also, I have a few stories to tell on days that I am extremely bored. Keep a lookout for the boat story and my car troubles story. I promise they will be worth reading unlike this entry. I hope everyone has a great week!